It's a little bit funny This feeling inside Wow, you can tell which one used to be the singer 14th of May control the controller balls It's a big one and I've got a long quote Marks are alias good old curly chops Those who chase status based their happiness on the opinions of others those who seek pleasure tie it to their emotions

but the wise find it only in their own actions. Consider the people whose approval you seek, the things you strive to own, and the strategies you use to get them. Time erases all of it, just as it has before, and just as it will again." That's quite beautiful, wasn't it? Really, really nice. And actually, I know people won't believe this. That was one take. That was one take. One take is all he needs.

Yeah, so where's it you thinking? Okay, I'll be good because I've pulled two podcast tables over this month. It was a pulled my partner. Yes Shout-out to her Instagram handles in the comments and right so it takes me straight back to a moment right a real key moment and actually this sort of stuff used to really bother me right so I

Called this guy up, yeah, was cheeky chappy. Called him, it was actually my last job before I started we had a meeting. Called this guy, he was like on the list of kind of dream customers. I got hold of him, he was the boss, he was the chief. Just got him on my mobile phone, really like tried to find his number, did a few little sneaky tactics. But I him on the phone and he was like very like geezer, London Cockney geezer. He's like, where's he, he's like, oh yeah, I like the style, I like the style, I like what you're doing. He's like.

giving it me a bit, both being a bit cheeky, chappy on the call, right? So I thought that now is sort of the vibe that we've got. We've got this sort of cheeky, chappy thing going on. So I call him back a few weeks later in the same tone and he went, right, you've really fucking pissed me off now, that it? You've rang me up like that on a Friday. You've been fucking cheeky to me. I'm not having it. I was like, and all I'd said to him was, hey, mate, like we agreed, I'm calling up to get my rejection.

And he went, he just straight in like that. Wow. And it actually like, got my back up a bit. I felt like pissed off. So the call ended on the ceremoniously obviously. And then I went to the gym and I was like thinking about it. I was thinking about it at home. I was just letting it bother me just all weekend. Letting it bother me. And I said to my boss on the Monday, that bothered me all weekend. And he looked at me and I'm like, did it? Why?

And like, even though I didn't really like him, like that is a good question. Why have I bothered me all weekend? So actually what I've done is I've put it on a loop and just let it play over and over again. It's almost like I've not intercepted the loop at any point. And weirdly, I don't really do that anymore. I've had probably like two other moments like that since in the thousands of calls I've done since, but it really like got my back up. And I think it was because I thought one thing, my expectation was we have this thing.

we've got this kind of relationship now. And then the reality had just smashed into actually you don't have that sort of relationship and you're not memorable. Yeah. Special. It's the feeling of it's not fair. You reminded me. I remember calling a guy once and he said, ⁓ listen, I usually take cold calls. said, but I'll be honest. My mom's just passed away. We're doing all of this. Prove it. You got a death certificate there. He said, ⁓ can you call me back?

He was like, I do want to take this call. He was like, I appreciate you've got a job to do. Can you call me back Wednesday, 12 o'clock? I'm sorting things out. I'll be in a better headspace to have a conversation. said, yeah. did you call him? On like Monday, you called him and he said, no, no. It was like a Thursday. He said, call me back the next Wednesday. I'll be fully recovered from my grief by then. Yeah, no, it doesn't make any sense. But he just said, give it a week or it might have been two weeks. Call me back, whatever this day. And he said, I do want to take it. I said, yeah, that's fine.

So I put it in the diary and I wrote my notes and I remembered it because I was like you don't forget that call and I rang him back and he said and I said We spoke we spoke a couple of weeks ago. You told me to give you a call back on on this day at this time It's about and you had my mama's just died and you're calling me and like and he was just like don't call me again I've told you not to call me and I was like, ⁓ Like and you just feel that like shame

guilt, rejection. was, and like you say, I was really bothered. I was like, that's not fair. He told me to, and I wanted to like download the call and send it to him or get the transcript and screenshot and be like, you said, and I was like, actually does it matter? But it takes a while to get to that bit. And I think we're there now where we go, I'm not a big deal. I think it's a weird one. Isn't it? Because you sort of get there through awareness. You've got, you've got, can activate the Stokes. I've got a cool name for it.

But in Eastern philosophy, it'd be called the observer. This bit in your brain that can actually oversee everything. But it's not just automatically there, the ability to kind of step back from your emotions and go, hold on a second, what's happening here? And in Eastern philosophy, they've got things where they say, if you just sit back and just kind of follow the emotion for a minute, where does it end? ⁓ it all, it sometimes it just ends into just nothing. It's actually just on a loop. But I am, if I've not mentioned it before,

I trained jujitsu in the mornings, right? And my jujitsu coach, sometimes he rocks up a few minutes late and bear in mind this is six o'clock in the morning. So he's just got up and just jumped in his car and he's, he's met me at the gym. He might've been up for 10 minutes and they might have times he walks in and goes, it is not my day. And I think how, how could it not like, it's a defrost my car. I helped a little, just little things that might have been like 10 minutes, but you just written off his whole day. And I think so many of us are guilty of that. You have the bad call. You get the rejection.

⁓ I remember frayer in my team, I used to have to reprogram her in the early days to say, stop saying everyone hates you. Like it's first few. not good for you. It's not good for the team. It's not good for anyone, but just read like, like, like the quotes saying it, you're just reinforcing the belief the more times that you do it. So actually the advice for this one is when things trigger in sales, do you have the ability to activate that observer and just sit back and take a second and look?

What has actually bothered me there? How has it bothered me? Acknowledge it and then ask yourself the question, how long do I want this to bother me for? Make a little agreement with yourself. Almost as if you're having a little meeting, you're like, right, okay, look, this has bothered us clearly. How long do we want to let it bother us for? 10 minutes and now we're like, I'm happy with whatever you want to do. And actually sometimes you start to kind of laugh at yourself and go, am I being silly? You know, Steve Peters, who wrote the chimp paradox, he said that he treats his chimp brain like that.

Yeah. So when he has a moment where it's where it's annoyed him, he'll just stop like police car over or whatever. He's like, right, obviously this has annoyed us. How long do we want to let this annoy us for? Yeah. And he's like, and actually it usually makes me laugh in the car of like, yeah. I'm being a bit daft. Yeah. I also think you didn't mention it there, but I think one of the other questions is like, why is this annoying me? And it's like finding out those triggers. I know that me, you and Ben, and we've all got different triggers. Who's Ben? Our business partner, the third Jonas brother.

not Nick or John Jones in the year Kevin and and it's a case of why is this annoying me and a lot of the time like I know that lateness doesn't bother you because it doesn't get you but it gets me and that is a trigger that from from childhood there's something that's been in there and it's all been rewired and it's understanding that and it's like knowing what triggers you and why things trigger you that's how you start to maybe gain a bit more control beautiful I've been Jack Frimston. I'm in Zach Thompson. Remember you will die? I'm a trained assassin. Pow.